Master the Art of Cross-Cultural Communication: How to Improve Your Efficiency, Joy, and Energy in a Rapidly Expanding World
Reading time: +/- 7 minutes
Picture: my dad with a good African friend
A while back, I could have been very frustrated, yet I wasn’t. An African friend of mine had a problem with me and shared this with another African friend. That friend shared his concerns with me. From my point of view, this was gossiping and slander. Why didn’t he approach me directly? It could’ve ticked me off, but it didn’t. Because I understood his culture, I didn’t become frustrated but instead I understood why he did it.
Today I am going to teach you how to communicate better with your client, prospect, VA or employee from a different culture.
In a world that's expanding rapidly, with endless travel possibilities, the presence of expats and immigrants from around the globe (in Amsterdam alone there are around 170 nationalities), and remote teams that span continents, it's crucial to master the art of cross-cultural communication.
Learning to master this skill will prevent misunderstandings, reduce tensions, alleviate frustration, and improve your efficiency, joy, and energy.
In this article I will talk about:
4 ways why we have a hard time communicating with people from other cultures
1 research backed framework of cross cultural communication that you can use in your day to day life
5 practical tips on how to communicate better with someone from another culture
Why we have a hard time communicating with people from other cultures
Through my extensive travels to over 20 countries, numerous coaching meetings, training sessions, and business conversations with individuals from diverse cultural backgrounds, I have gained valuable insights into the challenges we face when communicating with people from other cultures. Based on my experiences, I have identified four key factors that contribute to these difficulties:
We are products of our own culture. We are wired by our own culture in a more permanent way than we think. According to a study published in the Journal of Personal Social, "culture has an important influence on nearly every aspect of human behavior, including cognition, emotion, perception, and motivation" (Heine et al., 2002). The authors suggest that culture shapes behavior through socialization, social norms, and cultural values. Because of this, it’s hard for us to reflect on our own culture. We can often think our culture is better than someone else. So things you think are normal, are weird to others. And things we think are weird, are normal to others.
Stereotyping and bias. We have several stereotypes and biases in our minds that can impact communication, leading to misunderstandings and misinterpretations of messages. For example: Africans are poor, Africans are not intelligent.
Lack of knowledge and understanding. A lack of knowledge and understanding of other cultures can make it difficult to communicate effectively. This can lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations of messages.
Different social norms. Social norms also play a role in communication. For example, some cultures may consider interrupting others to be impolite, while others may view it as a sign of engagement. This limits us to communicate with others.
Scientific backed research to understand cultures better
Erin Meyer's book "The Culture Map" presents a framework for understanding and navigating cultural differences in communication. The framework consists of eight scales of cross-cultural communication:
Communicating scale: Refers to the level of directness in communication. For instance, low-context cultures such as Germany tend to be explicit and direct, while high-context cultures like Japan tend to be indirect and rely on subtle cues and gestures.
Evaluating scale: Refers to the way feedback is given and received. For example, cultures such as Russia and France are more comfortable with criticism and direct feedback, while cultures such as Japan prefer to give feedback in a more diplomatic and indirect way.
Leading scale: Refers to the approach managers use to lead and motivate their teams. Some cultures like Sweden have an egalitarian and collaborative management style, while others such as Brazil have a hierarchical management style.
Deciding scale: Refers to the way decisions are made. For instance, cultures such as Japan make decisions based on consensus, while cultures such as the United States rely on a single leader or authority figure.
Trusting scale: Refers to the methods used to develop and maintain trust. Cultures such as Mexico build trust through relationships and personal connections, while cultures such as Germany rely more on rules and contracts.
Disagreeing scale: Refers to the techniques utilized to convince someone to take action. Some cultures such as the United States are more confrontational and employ a direct style of persuasion, while others like China use a more indirect, subtle approach.
Scheduling scale: Refers to how cultures view time. Cultures such as Switzerland are highly punctual and value schedules and deadlines, while cultures such as Brazil have a more flexible approach to time.
She plots the different countries in a graph. See below an example of the difference between The Netherlands and Uganda.
Reference: https://erinmeyer.com/tools/culture-map-premium/
You see that my Dutch culture is completely the opposite from the Ugandan culture. For example, we as Dutch are very task oriented, as the Ugandans are very relationships oriented. This means that for me to work in Uganda, I really need to work on relationships first, before I can get some things done.
Our Dutch culture is very egalitarian in leadership. Everyone needs to have an opinion about the matter. Everyone participates. The African culture is way more hierarchical. One person decides.
If you are not aware of this dynamic, it can create tension.
For example, I am asking a lot of questions to my African friends and ask their input on training and coaching. Most of the times, they say: YES and don’t really share what they think. They are not used to speak up in their culture. They don’t share their opinions, what they think. In February in Tanzania, our leaders said: “We need to change this and that in our training.” I applauded them for their initiative and their input.
Why wasn’t I frustrated when my friend of a friend shared to me what they didn’t like?
Because I understood the African culture. It made me aware of this:
Indirect communication is more prevalent in my African friend's culture, and direct criticism or dissatisfaction is often avoided to prevent conflict. Instead, people might use intermediaries or subtle hints to communicate their concerns.
My African friend might have felt uneasy or intimidated about approaching me directly (yes, I have to learn here). He might have perceived me as having more power or authority, or been concerned about negative repercussions if he were to confront me.
It's also possible that my African friend believed that an intermediary would be more effective in communicating his concerns to me. Perhaps the intermediary had a closer relationship with me or better communication skills.
5 tips for you to communicate better with a friend, business partner or VA from another culture
Acknowledge that you are a product of your cultural surroundings. For instance, if you're American and have always valued individualism and personal freedom, recognize that these are aspects deeply ingrained in your culture. Understanding that what you perceive as normal, like prioritizing personal goals over group objectives, stems from your cultural backdrop can foster a sense of openness towards other cultures where communal values might be prioritized.
Adopt a mindset of continuous learning. When conversing with a friend from Japan, for example, you might inquire about the importance of respect for hierarchy in their society, or ask about the significance of rituals and traditions in their daily life. Asking specific, insightful questions about their cultural traditions and norms shows your genuine interest and willingness to learn.
Exercise active listening: Suppose you are in a meeting with a colleague from India who is explaining the concept of 'Jugaad', a popular Indian philosophy of finding low-cost solutions. Demonstrate your attentiveness by maintaining eye contact, nod in understanding as they explain, and perhaps paraphrase their explanation saying, "So, 'Jugaad' is about innovating cost-effective solutions to problems, correct?" Refrain from interrupting or hastening the conversation to respect their pace and thought process.
Exercise patience and be observant of nonverbal cues. For example, if you are interacting with someone from a Middle Eastern culture, you might notice that they stand closer during conversation than you're accustomed to. Instead of stepping back, which might be seen as rude, understand that personal space varies across cultures. Also, listen for subtle variations in their speech and avoid being overly confrontational, as direct disagreement might be seen as disrespectful in their culture.
Encourage discussions about cultural differences using effective tools. If you're working on a project with a German colleague, you could use Erin Meyer's eight-scale model to discuss the different attitudes towards punctuality. Germans are typically known for their precision and strict adherence to schedules, which might differ from a more relaxed attitude towards time in other cultures. Understanding these nuances can help in setting mutually agreeable timelines and expectations.
If you want yourself or your team to be trained in cross-cultural communication? Contact me and I can help you.
great job. very clear and practical.